How Does Sleep Change As My Toddler Grows Up?
Toddlers need plenty of quality sleep to fuel their rapid physical and cognitive growth - they’re busy little beings! Sleep is vital for development, emotional regulation, and even immune system health. As children grow, they need less sleep, and of course, all children are different, but generally speaking the recommended amount of sleep is:
- 2–3 years old: Between 11 and 14 hours per day, including a nap. Most little ones still need a nap until they reach age 3 (and some keep it well beyond that!), but the length of the nap generally gets shorter as they get older until they drop it completely.
- 4–5 years old: Around 10–12 hours per day, typically with no nap. Some children, however, may still need the occasional nap on busy days.
Of course, these are general guidelines, and all children are different with varying levels of sleep needs, but they give you a general idea of the ‘right’ amount of sleep for your little one.
When and how to drop naps
As we’ve already covered, most children need a nap until around age 3. Around this age, you may start seeing some signs that they’re ready to go through the whole day without a nap, including:
- Resisting going down for the nap itself
- Bedtimes becoming long and drawn out
- Early wakes creeping in Long periods of being awake in the night
Some little ones will benefit from a ‘gentle’ dropping of their nap, with you still giving them a period of ‘quiet time’ instead. This could mean them going to their room and reading, listening to an audiobook or doing a puzzle to allow them to rest without actually sleeping. It can be bittersweet for parents when that last nap finally goes for good - it’s lovely to have more freedom and not have to time things around naps, but also, naps can be a precious time for parents to have a hot cup of coffee uninterrupted!
When you do drop the nap, don’t be afraid to bring bedtime earlier to compensate for a while. You can temporarily bring it as early as 6 p.m., just while your little one adjusts to the long day.
What can disrupt toddler sleep?
Overtiredness (or under tiredness!)
It might seem counterintuitive, but overtiredness can make it harder for toddlers to fall and stay asleep. When overtired, our bodies produce the hormone Cortisol, leading to toddlers appearing ‘wired’, keeping them awake and leading to extended bedtimes, night wakes, and early starts.
On the other hand, sometimes being undertired can wreak havoc on sleep - confusing, we know! Play around with nap times, lengths and bedtime to try and find your little one’s sweet spot. Top tip - any changes you make to the routine, try for a good 5 days before ruling it out, as it can take a little time to reset any over/under tiredness.
Connection
Here at Positively Parenthood, we imagine children as having a little internal ‘love bucket’ that needs to be kept topped up as much as possible. Sometimes tricky bedtimes and night wakes can be your little one’s way of communicating, ‘I need more time with you!’. We talk a lot about 10-minute connection time with your child, doing it as often as you can - even just one or two days a week. Spend those 10 minutes doing an activity your child’s chosen - a puzzle, book, game, playing football or with trains etc, and be present for those 10 minutes without any distractions. Lots of eye contact and touch to top up their little love bucket and reduce the chance of them needing more connection with you at bedtime.
Slowing down bedtime and giving some extra time for connection can also be a powerful tool with toddlers. It sounds counterintuitive when you’re trying to get them to bed as quickly as possible, but slowing down the bedtime bit—taking time in the bath, doing some massage, reading an extra story, or choosing an interactive story you can talk about—can speed up the overall time it takes for them to settle to sleep.
Life changes
Changing rooms at nursery, a new sibling arriving or moving to a new house can all be enough to rock your little one’s world, and this can show up in their sleep. Toddlers love routine and predictability, and these changes can throw sleep off track until things settle into a new ‘normal’.
Fears
As they grow from toddler to school age, their imaginations constantly develop and evolve. This is a wonder to watch as a parent, but it can sometimes have knock-on effects on sleep if your child suddenly starts fearing the dark, monsters in their room or ghosts under the bed. Offer plenty of reassurance, try a night light, read books about the topic, or you could even make some ‘monster spray’ (water in an old spray bottle) and spray it around their room before sleep to reassure them they’re safe.
As with all parenting, sleep can be a bit of a rollercoaster at times. It can go backwards for no obvious reason, and then fix itself again out of the blue. If you’ve got to the point where you think you need some more help, that’s where Positively Parenthood can step in with online sleep courses and personalised 1:1 consultations to help get things back on track!